A year ago today, I discovered I had a life-threatening allergy the hard way. Long story short, I was stung by a hornet while 50 feet in the air at my summer camp and went into anaphylaxis shock within 10 minutes, having to give myself an Epi-pen in front of my campers. After I was ziplined down from the beanstalk and sent to the hospital, the doctor told me that my reaction was so severe that next time it could be even worse, possibly needing two Epi-pens. From then on, my daily routine has been forever changed. I cannot leave my house without my Epi-pens because I am literally scared I will die. I got blood work done to see what other stinging insects I was allergic to and turns out, it’s all of them. But the worst part is that the bald-headed hornet, which is what I was stung by, was one of the least deadly. The wasp was 10x more deadly, and if I went into anaphylaxis within 10 minutes of a hornet sting, I couldn’t imagine how fast my reaction would be with a wasp. The anxiety has gotten better since then, but it used to be so bad that I had an anxiety attack at a darty in the fall when a wasp landed on one of my friends. It happened again in New York while walking in central park when I realized I left my purse with my Epi-pens at the hotel, and I started losing feeling in my tongue and couldn’t breathe. Luckily, both times I had my friends with me (s/o Anna, Marcie, and Elfie), but it was something I never knew I lived with until a year ago. I just think of how fortunate I was to be at camp of all places when this happened because so many kids have allergies that they have a first aid kit at every station. Imagine if I was by myself on a walk and was stung and wouldn’t have had time to reach a place with an Epi-pen or medicine. When I told my therapist and psychiatrist about how bad my anxiety was to the point that I literally couldn’t sleep at night in the fall because I was scared I would be stung and suffocate in my sleep, they helped me through the PTSD but reminded me that this was good anxiety. When I left my epi-pens at home and would have an anxiety attack, they would remind me that this was my body’s way of subconsciously telling me something was wrong and my life was at risk, which was, therefore, a “good anxiety.” As for the song I chose, after the incident happened, this song stood out to me for the bridge: “This is for everybody going through tough times, believe me, been there, done that, but every day above ground is a great day, remember that.” Although cheesy, this song was both CIA (Camp Illahee Appropriate) and relevant to my life at the time. I have never had a near-death experience before then, so this really made me appreciate my life and feel lucky to even be alive. It’s crazy to think in some alternate reality I would be dead right now, but it truly was God’s timing: right place, right time, and I am so grateful for that. 

Behind the Lyrics: 

The meaning behind the song is kind of an obvious one if you listen to the lyrics. Two people are singing about their financial struggles but are still trying to make the most of their lives. They can’t pay their rent yet still choose to go out to the club because they would rather forget about their troubles and live in the moment.