I’ve always known the chorus of this song, but my sister reintroduced it to me this year while driving back home to New Orleans from college. It made me reflect on my love life this past year, and it made me realize this was the first time in a while that I have been truly single for an extended period of time. Trust me, I was not purposely trying to be constantly involved with someone. Maybe one could argue this was not the case subconsciously, but I don’t believe I needed male validation in any way or was purposely looking for a man. Somehow, I always found myself stuck in a situationship with a guy and was trying to find ways to get out of it. This was the story of my life for the past two years. Relationships can be so emotionally exhausting, especially for me because when I am with someone, I am always with them. I get so consumed when I am in a relationship that I can never find a balance between friends, social life, school, and spending time with a guy I like. Anyways, I have been situationship-free since January and I think it’s because I was so focused on my career that I didn’t have time to start anything, which I am really glad about. I think putting my work first gave me a new sense of self-worth and showed me that I have other passions and dreams I want to follow that would not be a waste my time. I am by no means swearing off relationships for the rest of my life, but I do think it is important to be single for some of your 20s while you’re still figuring yourself out. It is important to give yourself time to learn more about the hobbies you enjoy and also time to foster new lifelong friendships. 

Behind the Lyrics:

The original song is co-written by Lori Leiberman, Charles Fox, and Norman Gimbel and sung by Roberta Flack. In Ms. Lauryn Hill’s version, she sampled the song and added her own R&B cover, giving the song more depth and emotion. To my surprise, the song was written by Lori Leiberman and is actually not a metaphor for infatuation but a literal story. She went to see Don McLean perform and was so mesmerized by his performance; she started writing down the lyrics to this song on a napkin. Ms. Lauryn Hill’s spin on the song was a pivotal moment for young black women in 1996 when Hip-Hop was strongly male dominated with hyper-masculine themes. In an article I read, the author states that this rendition really spoke to her because “Hill showed young black women that there was room to be vulnerable and assertive, classic and contemporary, hip-hop and soulful, and she demonstrated that to us in a song many of us now play for our daughters.”

Link to The Atlantic Article referenced: The Fugees’ ‘Killing Me Softly’ Made Lauryn Hill a Musical Hero for Many Young Black Women in 1996 – The Atlantic